Forum Romanum


Subject:	Candidacy for Quaestor
From:	Megas-Robinson amgunn@--------
Date:	Thu, 12 Nov 1998 00:38:26 -0800

Salvete Omnes, Salus et Fortuna!

Well, here's a picture of me. It isn't the highest resoluttion, but
it's the only one I have scanned right now. It's of me dressed to put
my plate armor on. I've got on a chainmail hood and padded leather
jacket. The hair is me.

VENATOR PRO QUAESTOR!
In Service to the People, Senate and Constitution of Nova Rome!
Praescriptum Pro Omnes!

Valete, Venator!


Subject:	Re: Only 35 shopping days till the Saturnalia!!!!
From:	Dexippus@--------
Date:	Thu, 12 Nov 1998 02:10:52 EST

In a message dated 11/11/98 5:25:01 PM EST, m--------oon@-------- wr--------:

<< I think I'm gonna pass on the penis
cookies. >>

I'll take whatever Flavia won't eat!

--Dexippus


Subject:	Update of Lusitania Web Page....
From:	"Antonio Grilo" amg@--------
Date:	Thu, 12 Nov 1998 13:20:56 -0000

Salvete omnes!

Now there is more information on the geography of the Roman Lusitania Provincia, with names of Roman towns, links to some portuguese sites (some are in english).

Valete!

Antonius Gryllus Graecus
(Praetor ad Lusitaniam Provinciam)


Subject:	Candidacy of F. Claudia Juliana
From:	missmoon@--------
Date:	Thu, 12 Nov 1998 11:14:09 -0500

Candidate’s Statement: Flavia Claudia Juliana, running for Consul

I see Nova Roma as a living entity. Although most of us are in touch
only through the computer, there are real people behind the screens,
people who are able to effect positive changes in the communities in
which they live.

I’m running for Consul because I want to have a greater influence over
how our Nation is prepared for the future and how it serves the Populace
now. But if not elected, I still derive great satisfaction from serving
as a Vestal and editor of the Eagle, and will continue to do what I can
to serve the Gods and the State. My greatest honor comes from being a
Citizen of Nova Roma in the first place.

These are ideas which can, with hard work, become real. I’m not going
into excruciating detail because I don’t have the space, but I’d like
Citizens to consider these plans.

-- Establishment of a Nova Roma University. This will offer various
educational forums to our Citizens and others on Roman history,
politics, Latin, architecture, archaeology, brewing and vinting, and the
Roman pantheon. This can be done through pages on the Web but will begin
as interactive mail-order courses taught by our Citizens who are
knowledgeable in the fields. These are informative, not accredited.

-- Public Education. This is pure PR, to make the general public aware
of NR and our goals

-- Roman Fair. Establishing a yearly "renaissance fair’ with a Roman
theme

-- Expansion of the Macellum into a mail-order catalog.

-- Expansion of the Eagle into a literary and historical journal.

-- Establishment of a physical homeland for Nova Roma.

-- Revision of the Constitution as needed, with the advice and consent
of the People. The present Constitution is a working document which
should be amended as we grow.

Qualifications:
As the founder and High Priestess of the Temple of Diana in Connecticut
in 1990, I was responsible for a teaching coven of 45 members. We held
formal classes every six weeks for three years for which I taught and
wrote the lesson plans, and I wrote the entire Book of Shadows, the
basis of our group’s practice. In 1993, I testified before the CT State
Judiciary Committee in support of repealing a 1915 law that abridged the
Constitutional rights of Wiccans, and announced my intention to bring
legal action against the state if the law was not repealed. (It was!)

In 1990 I was President of the 200-member CT Chapter of NAAFA, a
national human-rights organization. I’ve served on several civic
committees in Salem, MA, my present home. I am a Viet Nam-era veteran
(USAF) and worked on Project Blue Book (but I don’t know Mulder &
Scully).

I have been a Citizen of Nova Roma since April, ’98 and Editor of the
Eagle since August, ’98. I wrote the proposal for the establishment of
the Vestal Order, and this past summer was appointed Chief Vestal by the
Pontifices and now serve on the collegium pontificum..


Subject:	Anger management (or the lack thereof)
From:	amethystcrystallight@--------)
Date:	Thu, 12 Nov 1998 20:14:41 -0600

Salve Parents --

Forgive me, I just HAVE to vent!!!!!!!!! and I have to wonder if my anger
is even justified!! This is probably off topic and a whole bunch of
other stuff, but if I don't bitch, I'll cry and that will make me even
MORE angry!!!!

Terrys father wants to put off seeing Terry AGAIN!!!!!! The reason for
this is the new house and the new car and the money he lost in Vegas
(Vegas....boy that almost had me screaming)!! I suggested they come
here, but he says that's not possible because his girlfriend doesn't like
the cold (they live in California) and is uncomfortable with him alone
with me. I spent months telling her EXACTLY what I thought of Tom
(Terrys dad), warning her what to expect from him. Where this sudden
distrust of the perfect man came from, I don't even want to guess.

Tom wants me to travel to California for Terrys birthday (March 31st).
That will be about 6 weeks after Lapis is born, and born by cesarian no
less. He sees no problem with me traveling first by car, then by bus
then by plane from here to Los Angeles with a 2 year old and a 6 week
old!! I recovered quickly from Terrys birth, but was completely
exhausted until she really began sleeping almost through the night (she
did this at about 3 months, thank the gods). I cannot imaging doing
"Trains, Planes and Automobiles"!! I can do one (like driving all the
way there of flying all the way there or something -- maybe -- maybe I'm
just getting desperate to try to keep this father and child in each
others lives), but I would almost have to use every form of
transportation known to man!!!!

I have just about killed myself trying to keep Tom in Terrys life. I was
willing to go through the travel nightmare 8 months pregnant just so
Terry could see him. I have yet to see any child support (he hasn't
volunteered and the state hasn't moved on any of the information I have
given them) and Terry has received a card from her father for her 1st
birthday plus a whole truckload of empty promises he has made to her. I
just don't think I can travel all that distance, on all those modes of
transportation with the 2 year old and the 6 week old. I'm sorry, I just
don't think I can DO it!!!!!

Most of you know I am pretty even tempered. But this has really gotten
to me. I get my hopes up that Tom will put Terry first in his life and
EVERY FLIPPING TIME he proves me wrong. What is wrong with me?? I put
my children first always. Neither childs father seems to feel the same.
Granted, Tom doesn't want Terry dead, like Michael wants for Lapis,
but........ What more can I do?? I don't know what else to do!!! I
really feel like I am being the heavy for saying I can't do it -- that
they need to come to us, even if it IS more expensive.

I'm just blathering now and I'm about to do some serious crying. Thanks
for listening.

Fara Med Godanum! -- Crys and Terry and Lapis Stone (due late Feb.)
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Amethystia Ivnia Crystallina and Primus Ivnia Terrelina
amethystcrystallight@-------- / mater2romani@--------
<a href="http://members.tripod.com/~acl_pit/amethyst.htm" target="_top" >http://members.tripod.com/~acl_pit/amethyst.htm</a>

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Subject:	Re: Anger management (or the lack thereof)
From:	Asseri@--------
Date:	Thu, 12 Nov 1998 21:46:04 EST

In a message dated 11/12/98 9:23:26 PM US Eastern Standard Time,
amethystcrystallight@-------- writes:

<< m just blathering now and I'm about to do some serious crying. Thanks
for listening.

>>
we WILL always listen to your needs my dear. By posting to us lets us function
as a family for you. I would suggest a few things but first I would like to
ask what stae you are in? More and more states have protection laws for
children for disinterestred parents. I am sure you have tired some of the
legal options.
First you are being too nice to Terrys father. I mean you not have to cut him
down in front of the child. But I see no reason to enable him to hurt both of
you. Stop going out of your way to make conntact with a man that placed
gambling over his child.
Arn't there Federal laws about child support? Since I dobn't know about your
laws but here in Indiana all you have to do is go the county procecuter and
start the ball rolling!! They will get them!! Please look into all your venues
for your area!!!
I have been a nanny for many single parent families .Get tough with him since
he is not supporting his child in a proper manner you need better. You and
your 2 children (yes that one matters in this too) deserve better .
Are we not the Nova Roma! WE are family in that sence too. Hmm
GRRR angry in Indiana
P.A.Olivia
Janet


Subject:	Re: Anger management (or the lack thereof)
From:	Nodigio@--------
Date:	Thu, 12 Nov 1998 22:32:36 EST

In a message dated 11/12/98 8:23:38 PM Central Standard Time,
amethystcrystallight@-------- writes:

> I get my hopes up that Tom will put Terry first in his life and
> EVERY FLIPPING TIME he proves me wrong. What is wrong with me??

There is NOTHING wrong with you, sweetie. Nada. YOU are a good mother. Some
men (men, please don't take offense) don't view fatherhood in the same light
as women view motherhood. I know. My ex is an outstanding father now - but
it wasn't always so. When we were married, he either ignored the children, or
yelled at them. I finally divorced him because I couldn't deal with his
temper, a one bedroom house and 2 children (of opposite genders). Then, I had
to call him to remind him he had children. I had to refuse jobs just so I
could stay close enough for the children to see their father when they wanted
to (he didn't get a choice - if they wanted to go, I made him take them). I
had to remind him of birthdays, concerts, field trips, holidays. I never
hesitated to call him - day or night - if they needed him. Eventually, as
they got older (and I had to teach them to speak up - a gentle, quiet, "Papa,
I'm feeling snacky" wasn't enough to let him know they were hungry - I taught
them to say instead, "Papa, feed me or Mama's gonna be mad at you.") he began
to listen to them, and now he actually likes them, and remembers to call them
all on his own. I also enlisted the aid of his parents - and we ganged up on
him to teach him how to be a father. It only took 7 years.

Living across the country is even tougher. You may be better off (for you and
the children) just pursuing the child support, and telling Terry her Papa
lives too far away to visit all the time. Then, harrass the beans out of him
before her birthdays and holidays. Don't leave it up to him to guess what she
might like for gifts - tell him point blank - "she wants a pair of roller
blades for Christmas, they cost such and such at so and so's. I expect it in
the mail in 2 weeks. If not, I'll call you again." Then keep calling him.
Start months before her birthday, etc. If you get along well with his
parents, recruit them to help out - she's their granddaughter, and deserves
the best. Send him pictures of her doing things (especially in gifts from
him that you told him to buy her). Men respond well and with pride when they
have pictures of their kid to show off, and pictures will also remind him he
has a child to consider.

When it comes to visitation, it's up to the non-custodial parent to make the
travel arrangements and the effort to meet the visitations. As the custodial
parent, your only responsibility is to let the child go off with the other
parent, and to be there when she's brought back. It is not your
responsibility to bring the child to her father - he comes to her. Period.
Harrass or guilt him into it.

In the end, most fathers do accept their responsibilities. I think it's just
that they aren't taught what they are supposed to do - how to be a father.
Most guys don't fall naturally into fatherhood - especially in instances of
divorce. They think they are relinquishing their rights to the child when
they relinquish rights to the mother. It's tough, but it's up to the mother
to keep that bond in place until the father learns how to do it himself. And
most men will learn. If they don't - well, you did what you could, and your
children won't fault you - or him - for it.

Stand firm, dear heart. Be the best mother you can be. It's on him to be a
good father. Guide him, maybe he'll follow. Don't sever the lines of
communication. And know we are here for you.

Secunda Floria Zonara


Subject:	Re: Anger management (or the lack thereof)
From:	amethystcrystallight@--------)
Date:	Thu, 12 Nov 1998 22:17:41 -0600

On Thu, 12 Nov 1998 21:46:04 EST Asseri@-------- writes:

> >>
>we WILL always listen to your needs my dear. By posting to us lets us
>function
>as a family for you.

It's weird, but I never originally intended to sent this to Nova Roma.
Seems my mouse slipped and added NR to the Parenting list (accident -- I
think not).

what stae you are in? More and more states have protection laws
>for
>children for disinterestred parents. I am sure you have tired some of
>the
>legal options.

I'm in Minnesota. No help here. The state will not allow me to revoke
his paternal rights simply because 1) he isn't 'abusive' to Terry OR
myself and 2) it would interfere with their collection of child support
(what child support?? They know where he works. Maybe their computers
have been down the last month).

They (Tom and his girlfriend) always *seem* to want to work this all out
and get Tom and Terry together, but it somehow never seems to happen.
Maybe it's the will of the gods, I don't know!!! It is very hard for me
to accept that every other money issue seems to come before Terry. It's
just insane to me!!

I talked to Ang (the girlfriend) who agrees that traveling 6 weeks after
childbirth/major abdominal surgery was quite insane, but then suggested I
may want to consider *moving* to where they are *before* the baby comes,
reapply for aid there (MN will cut me off after I have been out of the
state 30 days), have the baby and live happily ever after. Maybe they
are *both* nuts and deserve each other. They have even offered me a rent
free house (4 bedrooms...basically a duplex that won't be a duplex once I
move in), transportation, everything!!! Basically MOVING out there!!
Talking about moving me and my babies to California (actually 1 baby, as
they want to do this BEFORE Lapis is born!!)!! And *I'm* half
considering it!!! Am I desperate or what?????? Could this be the
answer?? I hear California is tough on child support....maybe.

>I have been a nanny for many single parent families .Get tough with
>him since
>he is not supporting his child in a proper manner you need better. You
>and
>your 2 children (yes that one matters in this too) deserve better .
>Are we not the Nova Roma! WE are family in that sence too. Hmm
>GRRR angry in Indiana
>P.A.Olivia
>Janet
>

I thank you for the support. I have been trying to calm down for an
hour, burning incense, drinking chamomile tea. Unfortunately it's not
working!! More incense and tea and soft music here I come!!

Fara Med Godanum! -- Crys and Terry and Lapis Stone (due late Feb.)
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Amethystia Ivnia Crystallina and Primus Ivnia Terrelina
amethystcrystallight@-------- / mater2romani@--------
<a href="http://members.tripod.com/~acl_pit/amethyst.htm" target="_top" >http://members.tripod.com/~acl_pit/amethyst.htm</a>

___________________________________________________________________
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Subject:	Re: Anger management (or the lack thereof)
From:	amethystcrystallight@--------)
Date:	Thu, 12 Nov 1998 22:45:23 -0600

On Fri, 13 Nov 1998 23:04:56 +0000 Pythia kingan@-------- writ--------br>
>
>This is an example of what I call "DOORMAT SYNDROME". As long as you
>continue to feel it is OK for people to walk on you, you will
>continue
>to attract men who use you and then leave. Amethyst, you have no
>obligation to anyone but your children....and you DON'T HAVE TO
>ACCOMODATE ANYONE...but yourself and your children.
>
>Amethyst, I am sorry to sound so hard, but as I can't come out to
>help
>you in February, I felt I should give you my best, right here. There
>may
>be those who will disagree with me, but I feel right about this.
>
>I don't know what your background is, but it is clear to me that the
>choices you have made reflect a very low opinion of yourself. But
>just
>because this was how you related to the world in the past, there is
>no
>universal Law that says you must continue to so. You are your own
>best
>expert, and until you make the CHOICE to trust yourself and your
>instincts, you will be stuck in the old pattern.
>
>I really do wish you every blessing,
>
>Pythia
>

OH NO Pythia, you are absolutely RIGHT!!! You have likely read at least
one of my responses, the one about actually CONSIDERING moving to
California!!! This is no new problem for me! I have been emotionally
abused by some of the best. Living here I feel.....free?....I don't want
to move, but somehow the thought keeps creeping back. I vowed I would
not uproot Terry anymore...the move from here will be the last, at least
for some time...buy a house someplace (and NOT California). The mere
thought of moving to California brought tears to my eyes again...."There
you go AGAIN Crystal!!" I thought.

Terrified as I am of raising my babies physically alone (without a mate
of some kind) I am more afraid of going through it all again. My legal
husband (never quite got around to a divorce) was Catholic and demanded I
be a housewife. Going to work to free myself of him almost came to
blows. Terrys dad and Lapis' dad were almost the same as far as keeping
me home to do their bidding (Men, please forgive me, but it's true).
Finally I am free and I am all but putting the shackles back on MYSELF.
I think a lot of it is the fear of being all alone when Lapis comes,
having no help. They (Terry and the girlfriend) tell me they would LOVE
to help with Terry when Lapis is born and after. It is tempting to one
so scared and unsure. I keep asking the gods for help in this area, and
have received some, but it is slow work to say the least!!

Fara Med Godanum! -- Crys and Terry and Lapis Stone (due late Feb.)
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Amethystia Ivnia Crystallina and Primus Ivnia Terrelina
amethystcrystallight@-------- / mater2romani@--------
<a href="http://members.tripod.com/~acl_pit/amethyst.htm" target="_top" >http://members.tripod.com/~acl_pit/amethyst.htm</a>

___________________________________________________________________
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Subject:	Re: Anger management (or the lack thereof)
From:	missmoon@--------
Date:	Thu, 12 Nov 1998 23:57:48 -0500

Amethyst C Light wrote:
>
> From: amethystcrystallight@-------- (Amethyst C Light)
>
> Salve Parents --
>
> Forgive me, I just HAVE to vent!!!!!!!!! and I have to wonder if my anger
> is even justified!! This is probably off topic and a whole bunch of
> other stuff, but if I don't bitch, I'll cry and that will make me even
> MORE angry!!!!

Two words.
Dump the loser.
Oh, wait..that's three.

Let's see what we've got here... he doesn't contribute support, he makes
promises to your kid and doesn't keep 'em, he's more concerned about his
girlfriend than his child...

Terry may be everything to YOU, honey, but she's an afterthought to him.
Lose him.

-- Flavia Claudia


Subject:	Re: Anger management (or the lack thereof)
From:	JusticeCMO@--------
Date:	Thu, 12 Nov 1998 23:44:37 EST

In a message dated 98-11-12 21:23:26 EST, you write:

> Most of you know I am pretty even tempered. But this has really gotten
> to me.

As it rightly should!!! I would love to say "I know how you feel", but that
would be untrue. The best I can do is let you know that you have support here
among friends, and that sometimes a good old-fashioned vent, such as the
original post, is the best medicine.

Rather than ask "what is wrong with me?", PLEASE affirm for yourself what is
RIGHT about you. I may not know you very well, but the efforts you describe,
and the depth of love for your children that you evidence here, tells me all I
need to know. :)

Please feel free to e-mail me privately should you need a shoulder, an ear, or
heck....just someone to listen quietly and pass the tissues. As Germanicus
can tell you, I am a great support person. Seriously....anytime. Hang in
there!!

:) Priscilla Vedia Serena