Latin jokes

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Most people think that Latin is a dead language, as dead as the Roman virtues or the culture it conveyed; but we, Nova Romans, know it doesn't have to be like that, not for the virtues, not for the culture, not for the language.

Latin was the living language of our Roman forefathers, and it is a language like all others, that can be learnt in a leisurely way and spoken in all situations of everyday life. In fact, there is already a large community of Latin speakers out there that prove that this is the case.

Living Latin jokes like these show how our language, the common language of our culture, the Roman culture, is alive even in the spirit and sense of humour!



Barbari et ignis

Latin English
Audi! Scisne quantus numerus barbarorum satis est ut ipsi facem accendere possint? Listen! Do you know how many barbarians it takes to light a torch?
Decies centena milia - uno facem tenente debent ceteri convenire atque conari ignem invenire! One million - one to hold the torch, and the rest to get together and try to discover fire!

Duae mulieres

Latin English
Prima: Cur non reddidisti anulum quem tu invenisti? First woman: Why didn’t you return the ring which you found?
Secunda: Non putavi esse necesse. Second woman: I didn’t think it was necessary.
Prima: Quomodo? First woman: Why?
Secunda: In anulo scriptum est: "Tuus in aeternum". Second woman: On the ring it is written: "Yours for eternity".

Custos publicus et civis

Latin English
Civis: Aliquis, custos, mihi magnam alapam duxit. Citizen: Officer, someone gave me a hard slap.
Custos publicus: Quis erat ille vir? Police officer: Who was that guy?
Civis: Nescio; sed autem vestigia illius digitorum in meo vultu sunt impressa. Citizen: I dunno, but the marks of his fingers are printed on my face.

Mulier et vir

Latin English
Mulier: Quomodo tantum potare assuevisti? Woman: How did you become accustomed to drink so much?
Vir: Propter res familiares. Man: Because of family matters.
Mulier: Fortasse tuum matrimonium est infelix? Woman: Is your marriage unhappy, by any chance?
Vir: Non. Sed habeo tres affines qui omnes caupones sunt. Man: No, but I have three relatives all of whom are innkeepers.
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